Columns
Binocular: Battling with the many fights of teenagers during long holidays
Binocular: Battling with the many fights of teenagers during long holidays
By:Bodunrin Kayode
Battling with the many fights of teenagers during the long vacation
It’s a long holiday, and a lot of pressure is on the parents to maintain the stability of the home. Some parents are still battling with under-10 children who are still malleable to discipline, while others are dealing with those between the ages of 13 and 17. These guys between the ages of 13 and 17 are the most difficult because if they have shown most or all the signs of puberty, you may have to apply special communication skills to be able to appeal to their senses. This is the most difficult period of growing up in the history of mankind because some can grow taller than their parents and begin to feel on top of the world, defying the same parents who raised them up. Others remain average, while the rest remain short. But regardless of our religious background, we must remain focused to give them the best even as they prepare to return to school in two weeks.
Expected genetic manifestations that can hunt them for life
Our kids come out with different genetic traces that either hunt them for the rest of their lives or injure them if you do not read between the lines and stabilize them accordingly. Stability in our climate is like medical therapy, and it is mostly done by consistently communicating with them to understand the difference between wrong and right. That means establishing a hierarchy within their ranks where the oldest will supervise the younger ones. Even if the oldest is just four feet tall, he should be the prefect in the house when you people are not around during the long holiday. If the younger ones are far taller than he or she is, then you have a plate full in your house.
In most cases, the tall ones actually begin to bully the shorter ones because of their height and better reach in terms of blows. Stammerers are also mocked by siblings.
I actually interceded in one family recently where a tall junior brother of about 6,2″ at only 17 was always bullying his senior one, who was just 4 feet 5″ at 19. And their resultant fights were always brutal because the most senior of the four kids in the family would try to fight back using weapons like sticks and stones to assert his authority, sometimes wounding their sisters, who always tried to mediate. God help you if you are not around to separate such teenagers when they tango. These people are neither adults nor kids. Just in their own world or adolescence. “Abami edas,” strange beings using Felas language
If that shorter teenager grows up without much feel-good stabilizing love pep talks, he may build a defensive wall around himself, prepared for every tall person bully or not that comes his way to try him like his brother did when they went through teenage syndrome from the age of 13 to 19. He is not likely going to forget what he saw as humiliation from his taller little ones who “looked down” on him when they were being raised by their parents for being too short. And for the rest of his or her life, he or she will always harass those taller than him or her for no reason. I mean, no reason at all. If he turns out to be a public professional like a teacher, labor leader, or even a journalist, God help newsmakers and his colleagues; his rants will always announce his presence.
READ ALSO: https://newsng.ng/the-plight-of-farida/
If he decides to stabilize and forget some of his past when it’s time to take a wife and takes his friends advice to marry a taller woman so his kids can be tall, that woman may be in hellfire on earth because each time she talks to him and raises her voice, she may become a terrible punch bag who must be cut down to size, and there would not be any stability in that marriage.
Tall-short syndrome breeds inferiority and superiority complexes.
When your kid goes through these challenges unmanaged, the inferiority complex will take charge. And that is about the most dangerous psychological sickness that affects people with deficiencies that were not stabilized when they were kids. No matter what anyone does, he will always remain inferior to the rest and accuse others of feeling pompous. An unstabilized mind will always accuse anyone without his or her deficiencies of being arrogant. Watch out for these things in your kids and work on them even if you are not always around. Pray for them daily.
The only solution to this kind of psychological lifelong crisis is to start working psychologically and spiritually very early in their individual lives by making them run away from the “inferiority complex” if they are too short or embarrassingly tall, like 7 feet plus. Lure such a kid into basketball and watch the glow in his eyes.
If you fail as a parent to do this and rely only on the God factor, you may have unstable minds let loose on the rest of us, running everyone down simply because of their perceived dangerous inadequacies. Inferiority complexes are more dangerous than half education. It kills as much as the superiority complex, which may be manifested by some of those tall ones. But that does not mean that there are no stable, extremely short or tall people whose parents really worked on them using the usual native intelligence available to Africans before the coming of psychology. There are many of them who are not too extrovert or introverted. They are just normal people like the rest of us. If I were you, I would stop praying for schools to open and drive all of them back to the correctional center called a boarding home. Enjoy the noise in the house while it lasts. You will not know the value of that noise from the TV until you visit friends who never had kids and are still expecting.
Binocular: Battling with the many fights of teenagers during long holidays
Columns
Women and Money: Why Men Keep Money Away From Their Partners
Women and Money: Why Men Keep Money Away From Their Partners
By: Balami Lazarus
I was contemplating two words as language of use in this article: “hiding” and “keeping.” Having carefully settled for keeping simply means to protect or safeguard what rightfully belongs to you, like money, the subject of the work. With this in mind, I deemed it fit to progress with the writing.
In folktales, songs and stories, sayings and proverbs, money has been mentioned long before now, either in a good or bad light. But most times in the latter. Therefore, money has always been the bone of contention in relationships of different shades—individuals, lovers, and spouses—that sometimes breed brawls in a family setting.
Men are known to be the head of families and providers of necessary and basic needs of their families. Men toil and sweat with challenges and risks to legitimately provide for their families, where money plays a major role in meeting the family needs at all times.
Men not only engaged in providing, but the burden and totality of his family responsibilities rested on him. Therefore, to meet up with the family responsibilities, married men are cautious and frugal in spending their money on things that are not necessary, unlike most women out there, who spend money on wants, deliberately refusing to separate wants from needs. And these spendings of theirs can wake the dead from their peaceful rest.
The song of Dr. Mamman Shata, ‘kashi kudi ta hayan mai kyau,’ threw my mind to the wisdom of my late father, who used to caution us, his children, on spending our money on wants. Some never took him seriously, but today I am among those that saw meanings in that.
Few women are wealth creators; equally, some few among them do spend money on needs. I have observed over time as a young man and as a husband that most women are careless in spending money. They spend to belong, meaning for wants and things that are in vogue for mere appearance to announce the presence.
Because of their excessive demands, spending money on wants is their life investment spread in chattels that have no secondhand value.
Women’s attitudes towards money have made their spouses keep their hard-earned money away from them. It has come to a time where, after discharging their basic family responsibilities, men closed the chapter of money/spending.
The moment some wives see their husbands with money, that is when a long list of wants rears its ugly head in place of needs. Women are highly extravagant with vengeance when it comes to spending that they don’t earn or make by their efforts; in such a situation, you are a spectator. The worst of such is common in the relationships among young adults.
And as a man, if you are not spending for your spouse on her endless wants, you are, without a second thought, considered stingy, uncaring, local, conservative, and not romantic.
Many of them thought their wants were rights that must be fulfilled at all times, not knowing that those are not core family needs and responsibilities.
Balami, a Publisher/Columnist, 08036779290.
Women and Money: Why Men Keep Money Away From Their Partners
Columns
The Plights of ‘Certificate Graduates’ Who Read and Refused to Study (2)
The Plights of ‘Certificate Graduates’ Who Read and Refused to Study (2)
By: Balami Lazarus
This is the conclusion of the work on the subject above.
Universities are the highest level of academic teaching and learning, where students are trained in different educational courses and awarded degree certificates. Universities are also centers of research, science, technology, and innovation. Therefore, a qualified and competent university graduate is a universal product who is supposed to stand tall and proudly defend his learning anytime, anywhere.
The bastardization of university degree certificates is aided and abetted by both academic and non-academic staff who probably might have been employed through the back doors. Likewise, many of their students. You can now freely connect the chain of corruption with its forward and backward leakages anchored in our university systems: recruitment and admission. Tell me, don’t you think that grades and certificate racketeering are more feathered?
The craze and demands for degree certificates in the labor market by employers have raised and increased the graduations of ‘certificate graduates’ at all costs by all means over the years. I heard of a story, which I am yet to verify, that a certain private university once certified and graduated many first-class graduates. For me, this is not an academic progress but a questionable act. Similarly, if you were to put them to the test in their various courses of study, you would concur with me and ask how it is possible to have such a number of supposedly first-class graduates.
The plights of ‘certificate graduates’ are self-inflicted by students who are not the serious type by all standards. If you are to do a background check on them and schools attended before their admission into the university of their choice, the story you will hear about them will definitely attract vultures.
This problem has since permeated faculties, departments, schools, and colleges of our universities where ‘certificate graduates’ are produced. Some universities have become exchange floors where you exchange your flaws for a degree certificate, which shall be given to you. And that marks the plights of such graduates.
Most of them are not helpful to themselves, always dependent on others for things you expect university graduates should know and do.
My work experience as a one-time school administrator of a private school in Narabi, Bauchi State, where I had related to, associated with, and managed ‘certificate graduates’ of the Corps on National Service (NYSC). Working with some of them was a woe of tales, because teaching was their primary duty. I pitied them.
That one experience has given me an insight into how some universities are churning out bad graduates for public recruitments.
These manners of graduates cannot work or attempt to work with good results-oriented corporate organizations where your productivity is the ladder of upward mobility.
Public and private educational institutions should join hands with relevant authorities and stakeholders to formulate a template for a sound and credible working system where students will be properly and genuinely certified as graduates.
Balami, a Publisher/Columnist 08036779290
The Plights of ‘Certificate Graduates’ Who Read and Refused to Study (2)
Columns
The Plights of ‘Certificate Graduates’ Who Read and Refused to Study (1)
The Plights of ‘Certificate Graduates’ Who Read and Refused to Study (1)
By: Balami Lazarus
It’s the hope and aspirations of many young Nigerians, male or female, to acquire and have a sound basic academic qualification, preferably a degree, that he/she can reasonably defend in character and in learning. And productively add value to his society and self.
As a certified graduate with a degree certificate? Are you competent to defend your educational qualification at any point in time? A competent university graduate has the knowledge and intellectual capacity to speak, defend, and be proud of his academic discipline. Such graduates are well baked.
I am not in any way undermining other good graduates from other tertiary educational institutions who are capable and able to be called graduates.
Why am I specific with university graduates? It has to do with my experiences in recent times with some of them that have no measure of basic knowledge of their course of study, talk less of general knowledge. This class of graduates lacks knowledge and understanding of their academic discipline; they are behind in confidence, basking in timidity. They are always found wanting in multiple dimensions as so-called graduates. What a shame!
Now let’s begin to see the plights of a ‘certificate graduate.’ What is your name, young man? My name is Takulash. What did you study? I read political science. You read, not studied, yes sir. No wonder you cannot defend your degree certificate and its class? This is one scenario that is common in an interface with a ‘certificate graduate.’
I was privileged to be on interview panels where I engaged graduates both written and orally. Of late, many university graduates are only certificate carriers without simple knowledge of what they claimed to have studied. What has contributed to these problems? This question has been on the lips of concerned citizens and stakeholders. Some said there is a fall in standard. Others hinged on corruption practices in our educational institutions. Whatever the challenges or
the problems are? I will attribute it to the negligence of our educational system, corruption, and the proliferation of private universities in Nigeria. Basically I will say for business purposes.
Another major reason that has brought up the issues of ‘certificate graduates’ is the poor educational backgrounds of pupils, right?
from primary schools that have been neglected and left unattended, the case of public primary and secondary schools that are feeders to higher educational institutions are not cared for. With a poor educational background, how can students perform to the expectations of the universities and be productive to society as proud and competent university graduates?
My heart bleeds whenever I interface with such graduates that cannot justify their degree certificates. They are the ones that just passed through the ivory tower without any meaningful academic/intellectual gains. Many of them were corruptly aided by their teachers and supported by their parents, a common factor in most private universities where academic programs have been commercialized, including grades for monetary exchange.
These undergraduates cannot stand on their own. They are always looking for someone to do their academic work/assignments. Are you aware that ‘certificate graduates’ cannot fill out a simple form or apply for a job and/oranswer general knowledge questions in an interview?
In fact, ‘certificate graduates’ cannot withstand the challenges of society and her labor market. Many of them are not brilliant but are full of strange and criminal behaviors, and they can do anything to obtain their certificates. They have refused to allow the university to pass through them.
The Plights of ‘Certificate Graduates’ Who Read and Refused to Study (1)
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