Columns
Binocular: Battling with the many fights of teenagers during long holidays
Binocular: Battling with the many fights of teenagers during long holidays
By:Bodunrin Kayode
Battling with the many fights of teenagers during the long vacation
It’s a long holiday, and a lot of pressure is on the parents to maintain the stability of the home. Some parents are still battling with under-10 children who are still malleable to discipline, while others are dealing with those between the ages of 13 and 17. These guys between the ages of 13 and 17 are the most difficult because if they have shown most or all the signs of puberty, you may have to apply special communication skills to be able to appeal to their senses. This is the most difficult period of growing up in the history of mankind because some can grow taller than their parents and begin to feel on top of the world, defying the same parents who raised them up. Others remain average, while the rest remain short. But regardless of our religious background, we must remain focused to give them the best even as they prepare to return to school in two weeks.
Expected genetic manifestations that can hunt them for life
Our kids come out with different genetic traces that either hunt them for the rest of their lives or injure them if you do not read between the lines and stabilize them accordingly. Stability in our climate is like medical therapy, and it is mostly done by consistently communicating with them to understand the difference between wrong and right. That means establishing a hierarchy within their ranks where the oldest will supervise the younger ones. Even if the oldest is just four feet tall, he should be the prefect in the house when you people are not around during the long holiday. If the younger ones are far taller than he or she is, then you have a plate full in your house.
In most cases, the tall ones actually begin to bully the shorter ones because of their height and better reach in terms of blows. Stammerers are also mocked by siblings.
I actually interceded in one family recently where a tall junior brother of about 6,2″ at only 17 was always bullying his senior one, who was just 4 feet 5″ at 19. And their resultant fights were always brutal because the most senior of the four kids in the family would try to fight back using weapons like sticks and stones to assert his authority, sometimes wounding their sisters, who always tried to mediate. God help you if you are not around to separate such teenagers when they tango. These people are neither adults nor kids. Just in their own world or adolescence. “Abami edas,” strange beings using Felas language
If that shorter teenager grows up without much feel-good stabilizing love pep talks, he may build a defensive wall around himself, prepared for every tall person bully or not that comes his way to try him like his brother did when they went through teenage syndrome from the age of 13 to 19. He is not likely going to forget what he saw as humiliation from his taller little ones who “looked down” on him when they were being raised by their parents for being too short. And for the rest of his or her life, he or she will always harass those taller than him or her for no reason. I mean, no reason at all. If he turns out to be a public professional like a teacher, labor leader, or even a journalist, God help newsmakers and his colleagues; his rants will always announce his presence.
READ ALSO: https://newsng.ng/the-plight-of-farida/
If he decides to stabilize and forget some of his past when it’s time to take a wife and takes his friends advice to marry a taller woman so his kids can be tall, that woman may be in hellfire on earth because each time she talks to him and raises her voice, she may become a terrible punch bag who must be cut down to size, and there would not be any stability in that marriage.
Tall-short syndrome breeds inferiority and superiority complexes.
When your kid goes through these challenges unmanaged, the inferiority complex will take charge. And that is about the most dangerous psychological sickness that affects people with deficiencies that were not stabilized when they were kids. No matter what anyone does, he will always remain inferior to the rest and accuse others of feeling pompous. An unstabilized mind will always accuse anyone without his or her deficiencies of being arrogant. Watch out for these things in your kids and work on them even if you are not always around. Pray for them daily.
The only solution to this kind of psychological lifelong crisis is to start working psychologically and spiritually very early in their individual lives by making them run away from the “inferiority complex” if they are too short or embarrassingly tall, like 7 feet plus. Lure such a kid into basketball and watch the glow in his eyes.
If you fail as a parent to do this and rely only on the God factor, you may have unstable minds let loose on the rest of us, running everyone down simply because of their perceived dangerous inadequacies. Inferiority complexes are more dangerous than half education. It kills as much as the superiority complex, which may be manifested by some of those tall ones. But that does not mean that there are no stable, extremely short or tall people whose parents really worked on them using the usual native intelligence available to Africans before the coming of psychology. There are many of them who are not too extrovert or introverted. They are just normal people like the rest of us. If I were you, I would stop praying for schools to open and drive all of them back to the correctional center called a boarding home. Enjoy the noise in the house while it lasts. You will not know the value of that noise from the TV until you visit friends who never had kids and are still expecting.
Binocular: Battling with the many fights of teenagers during long holidays
Columns
University Courses: Marketable and Non-Marketable Courses—How True?
University Courses: Marketable and Non-Marketable Courses—How True?
By: Balami Lazarus
Let me make it clear hereinafter that I am not against any academic course or the role of guidance and counseling for good career choice, provided that our young men and women will be guided properly. Not long ago, I visited a friend who teaches at one of the universities. It was interesting to be with him, having spent years without seeing each other.
My friend and I took time out and had a long discussion on national issues concerning our country in an attempt to proffer verbal solutions that will only end and stop as mere talks, which most Nigerians are good at doing, including this writer.
In furtherance to our discussion, I was very particular about education and how to improve the sector in terms of standards, academic excellence, and skills. I also raised the issue of corruption in the system. In the process I immediately recalled what some parents and guardians are peddling around saying: “There are marketable and non-marketable courses in our universities.
“For me, I know that for hundreds of years, universities are known to be great centers of teaching, learning,learning and research, contributing to arts, science, and technology for the purpose of national development. My friend was quick to add that “the academic corruption is perpetrated by some lecturers and students, monetarily and sexually.”
Having discussed the corruption bug. I asked the university Don if there are any courses as marketable and non-marketable courses in our universities. This one question gave the Don a good laugh. He looked at me and said, “I have spent years as a teacher in the university academic department. I have never heard of any course(s) known as marketable and non-marketable academic disciplines or any faculty/department that run such courses.
As young secondary school students aspiring to go to the university to study courses of our choices where our interest lies and looking forward to becoming either political scientists, engineers, lawyers, historians, or doctors, and so on. In this regard, we had never heard or been told by our teachers or parents that there are marketable and non-marketable academic courses. Therefore, we should study the marketable courses.
The question I always asked myself was, where are these courses? What we have in our universities are courses leading to different human endeavors. Whatever one decided to call these courses, what is obtainable today is the need to have to add skills to your academic training; employers of labor are today skills-oriented for those who are hoping to be employed.
Balami, a Publisher/Columnist, 08036779290
University Courses: Marketable and Non-Marketable Courses—How True?
Columns
With Fury of a Tempest, Alau Dam Flood
With Fury of a Tempest, Alau Dam Flood
By: Balami Lazarus
Who wants to be a millionaire? a television quiz program anchored by one Frank Idoho, which I hardly missed. I recalled a question once asked: Where is Lake Alau? In the options, there was Borno state among other states. The young man on the hot seat gave a wrong answer. I believe because Lake Alau was then not popular, unlike its cousin, Lake Chad.
Not much is known about the Lake, Alau, and the dam known and called Lake Alau Dam put together. Let me first start with the lake as a natural geographical feature, a large body of water surrounded by land. However, and to the best of my findings, there is no available written document on the history of this lake in question. But it held that the Lake was there many years traceable to the period of the Kanem- Borno Empire. While the present Alau was a small settlement that emerged during the formative years of Shehu’s dynasty from 1846 to the present day. It later grew into a village with people of Kanuri extraction.
Alau is today part of the Konduga Local Government Area of Borno state, some few kilometers away from Maiduguri city center. For the purpose of providing portable drinking water and to improve agriculture through irrigation farming and fishing, a dam was constructed by the past administration of the state from 1984 to 1986. The project was tagged as Water for Borno. Thereby, Lake Alau Dam has become part of the people’s lives, for its importance cannot be quantified.
The recent Alau Dam flood that nearly swept away the city of Maiduguri came with a raging fury of a tempest in September 2024 I will liken to one of the works of William Shakespeare—”The Tempest.”TheTempest”. That of the play was simply and deliberately raised to humble palace traitor Antonio and his co-conspirators, who ousted Duke Prospero, whom they marooned on a deserted island, leaving him to his fate. But ours came with devastating destruction and killing with ravaging effect from head to tail, which has caused unestimated damage.
The flood was not because of the heavy rainfall experienced last season but from the overflow of the dam and subsequent breakoff of its decks. My last visit to Lake Alau Dam with some friends was years back. What was observed and saw were obsolete facilities that were outdated, old, and weakly decked. There was nothing to show that the dam is being cared for. But while growing up in Zaria as kids, we were so used to seeing Kubani and the University (ABU) dams being opened up to let out large quantities of water to avoid overflow and flooding. Has Alau Dam ever experienced that? Has it been dredged?
Therefore, the 13-man committee led by Mr. Liman Gana Mustapha, a professional town planner, may wish to consider these questions as an inroad to finding a lasting solution to the flood matter.
Balami, a Publisher/Columnist. 08036779290
With Fury of a Tempest, Alau Dam Flood
Columns
The Rise and Fall of Garkida, a Social Decline
The Rise and Fall of Garkida, a Social Decline
By: Balami Lazarus
In my recent visit to see my aged mother in Shaffa, a small rural town. In a chat with some of my peers, Garkida came up, and one of us immediately informed the group that the town is socially dredged. I made some findings, and you may wish to agree. I believed students of history my generation were once taught about the rise and fall of great empires, kingdoms, rulers, warriors, and other historical events during our secondary school days. In the cause of those lessons, our imaginations were always taken far to other lands.
We never thought that someday there would be a fall or decline of our own, which could be a town, village, or settlement, but never like the fall of the known historical empires/kingdoms of Oyo, Jukun, Fante/Ashante, Kanem-Borno, Songhai, etc. To rise is a difficult task in life or in the course of growth, be it individual, town, or city. But to fall is easy. Garkida has rose and fallen, or, to say, declined socially. Once a bubbling rural town in Buraland, being in Gombi Local Government Area of Adamawa State has nose-dived from the social ladder.
As a historian, I will not subscribe to the use of the term fall; it will defile my histo-journalistic sense of reasoning because Garkida is a proper noun and is there real. So it will rather go well with me and perhaps some readers of this essay to accept Declined as a better use of historical language for the purpose of this work. I am not a native of Garkida and have never lived there, but it was the home of my cousins and nieces long before now.
As a young man, I had it well with friends when the town was in her social chemistry and apogee. In spite of her decline, the arrears in our kitty, notwithstanding the flow of time, are the mutual friendship, an indelible mark in our social life. I remember clearly as a holiday-maker with my grandmother at Shaffa, Garkida was the in-thing in our youthful days because of the mass social activities that used to take place there.
There were social interactions with friends and relatives from different places, parties of all kinds—a social front burner. And to most of my peers, it was the center of today’s mobile social handle—Facebook, where you meet and make new friends. That was Garkida for us. As a rural town, it flourished with glamour, elegance, and pride, triggered by the social engineering of Who is Who? The creme de la creme of her sons and daughters who made nane in their vocations or professions that promoted and spread the name of Garkida as social lighthouse.
It was the abode of top military brass in the ranks of generals. Her businessmen once made the town tick as a cluster of has. It was the nerve of vogue and socialites in Buraland. There was declined in this capacity. Historically, Garkida came to the limelight and appeared on the colonial map of Nigeria in 1923, when the white Christian missionaries of CBN/EYN first settled there and made it their home on the 17th March of the aforementioned year. The beginning of her social mobility started in the 1970s, through the 1980s, to the dawn of the 1990s, her zenith.
I doff my hat for the united daughters of Garkida; credit goes to them; their exposures, taste, beauty, love, elegance, sophistication, unity of purpose, and social agrandisement made them wives of husbands of men from far and near who are of different walks of life. The women of Garkida were a central force, once the venus de milo of the town before its social decline. I cannot conclude this article without appreciating the fact that Garkida was the center of learning and vocational training and once the hold of good and efficient healthcare services in Buraland and its neighbors. Today, Garkida is no longer in the vantage position.
Balami, a Publisher/Columnist, 08036779290.
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