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The Panic of Growing Older, Better Late Than Never 

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The Panic of Growing Older, Better Late Than Never 

By:Balami Lazarus 

The title of this write-up is derived from the beautiful literary work of Dr. Lenrie Leopold Wilfred Peters, a fine African poet from Gambia who died in 2009 in Dakar, Senegal. I acknowledged Dr. Peters and his publishers for lifting the title of one of his works. Permit me here to tell you that I was recently in my faraway home, which I will neither call a village nor a town, because I am not competent or qualified to do so, knowing fully well that only experts in the fields of urban and town planning are competent enough to do that. 

However, Shaffa in Borno State, for me, is a semi-urban settlement. At Shaffa, I see my once-active mother, who is aging with wear and tear taking a toll on her from the ailments associated with aging. I can see frustration over her inability to do something herself. I can also see her thoughts of vanity demonstrated by her lack of interest in so many things. Life is becoming meaningless for her at this advanced age. Suddenly, the panic of growing older struck me with a pang of hammer on anvil as it were in the blacksmith shop. Thank God, we are there for you. Richard, my brother, is the closest to her doing the right thing. Sometimes back in 2020, I attended a seminar on investments, and one of the speakers spoke intensively on old age and aging. 

The article is written from the point of view of investments for the rainy days of old age, which will surely someday come with aging that will take its toll on you and me as long as man lives. Active days shall be over, and diminishing returns shall set in. There will be no more profits but losses and deficits, the balance sheet reads. This scenario is real; therefore, you need to have plans and investments. Ignoring old age as a life project is bad without plans. You then find yourself with no resources, no investments to give you money and comfort that might likely prolong your life to age gracefully in good health, God willing. 

Ants are one of the largest insects that belong to the insecta class. Weather or not, ants are among the most active creatures on earth; they are known to be seasonal investors. Their gathering and storage sense is wonderful. Ant stores are deep in the earth crust, well secured for the purpose of keeping their foods for tomorrow. Therefore, as tiny as they are, their wisdom supersedes that of other animals, including some humans, in terms of saving for the future. 

Investments have been one of the most difficult things to do for many people, both young and old. Many of us spend our money on wants, not needs, and equally want to run businesses by ourselves, not thinking of putting our money into organized, profitable business ventures. Well, I will not blame some people for not doing that. More so, the enabling environment is not conducive. And probably it might be due to a lack of understanding or awareness, hindering many from investing for a lifetime. 
To peacefully navigate through old age and the aging phase of life, one needs to put a safety valve on financial income for the voyage of the old age project. Old age without any source of income is the worst life situation, where life will practically be meaningless. Yes, you are now old and aging—a burden, a liability, and beggarly poor physically and in health. Children have grown and gone; grandchildren are keeping away from you because you have nothing to offer. Aging is knocking hard on you each day. Better late than never. 

What will it cost to be old and aging without any source of income? The impact on old age and aging is colossal. But with good, profitable investments in either real estate, stocks, agriculture, or any other source of steady income, aging will be graceful without stress but fun throughout. At this stage and situation, you are more stable emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually in a cozy manner in the company of friends and relatives who are always there and/or asking what to do for you. Because you have what it takes to keep some of them around you. While some of your contemporaries are still trudging and sweating hard with young people who are equal to their grandchildren, 

Better late than never, young men should begin to develop habits for life savings or investments where their money will work and grow for them. Though the harvest may be long, patience and time will no doubt be in your favor in the future. This simple principle is more applicable in the capital market, known as the stock market. The formula is: money + stocks x time = patience. Therefore, patience is equal to capital appreciation or dividends in millions or billions of naira over a long period of time. People should learn to look out for financial assets and investments. Getting old and aging is certain as one lives. 

Balami, a Publisher/Columnist (8036779290)

The Panic of Growing Older, Better Late Than Never 

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Osama, For Good Governance and Social Justice Through the Radio

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Osama, For Good Governance and Social Justice Through the Radio

By: Balami Lazarus

Osama. Does it ring a bell? Yes, it does on the Plateau. The Osama I am writing about is that individual who is known for his good works for humanity on the radio and outside the studio. Osama is a gentleman but is outspoken and has a mind of his own.

My Osama in this context is a personality, a brand, and a trademark. Osama is a broadcaster, radio presenter, and popular comedian on stage and in the entertainment industry in Jos-Plateau and beyond. Since the writing is sailing, I will later reveal the identity of who this young man is and why he is so passionate about good governance.

The fights for human rights, social justice, and good governance have been the cries and topic of discourse of so many Nigerians, especially good governance. Non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and human rights activists are the leaders in these struggles, whereby their roles cannot be overemphasized. The quantum of spoken words, public lectures/enlightenment programs, workshops, seminars, etc., has not brought many changes in our systems because there was little or no action by you and me as Nigerians.

I remembered when I was very active in the struggle for human rights and social justice. As Deputy Secretary General (DSG) of Democratic Alternative (DA), we were much concerned with democratic alternative processes and social justice with a whiff of good governance, and this has been the case for some NGOs, as I know.

I came to understand from my experiences that, as a country, we have good public-oriented programs, but our major challenges are implementation and follow-up that come with too many talks but no individual action or collective responsibility because many Nigerians are fearful, and this has made me a one-man advocate/crusader for human rights and social justice. Like the subject of this work.

Now back to the subject. Osama is a brand package, fearless advocate, and mouthpiece for good governance on the Plateau through Town Hall, a popular radio program aired by JFM 101.9 FM. Jos is widely listened to. He was born as Ehis Akugnonu. But Osama has overtaken his certified name. Therefore, my continued use of Osama is justified in this work because I realized that many times your other name (also known as) tends to dominate and overshadow your real name.

Osama is redefining the fight for good governance by personal efforts through follow-up and speaking on them, putting the government on their feet to improve and do better. ‘I am for good governance, and I will continue to speak on this matter.’ He is purposefully driven by his passion for good quality and better systems to have an enabling environment where the systems are working for progress and development.

Balami, a publisher/columnist 08036779290

Osama, For Good Governance and Social Justice Through the Radio

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In Marriage Nest, Spouses Are Dying Ignoring Red Flags and The Panacea (2)

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In Marriage Nest, Spouses Are Dying Ignoring Red Flags and The Panacea (2)

By: Balami Lazarus

I saw it coming. As a writer, my works and I have been verbally attacked several times. I raised an eyebrow at how some readers react by using bad language on issues, opinions, and views. Well, that is their way of expression when they are displeased, but I feel it is grotty.

And here is the conclusion of the “controversial piece,” as one caller puts it. For me, there is nothing controversial about this discourse but the truth of the grotesque happenings in married homes. And the way out, as I earlier wrote, is divorce.

Recently there has been an inflation of brutal murders in marriages; those killed are mostly women and children, and fewer men. What justification does one have to continue in a marriage where there are threats, violence, and unhappiness generated by the presence of either the husband or the wife? And unknowingly one becomes prey hunted by an in-house predator.

Sharks areamong the most intelligent aquatic animals. Their sense of smell is very sharp; they can smell and detect blood or any red object in water from a far distance and come for it at near the speed of light. Therefore, women’s body chemistry is like that of sharks; they sense and notice things easily. But what is wrong with many of them in marriage that they are unable to detect landmines or red flags early in their marriages? Where there is a threat to life with the intention to hurt, harm, and/or cause grievous injury or death, that is when they realize they are living in gross bondage if they are lucky to come out of it alive.

As students at Pluto College Sharam in Kanke-Plateau State, we were told and made to understand as boys to treat our girl students with love and care and be there for them when the need arises. That was one of the lessons that came from the late Dr. Sumaila Ndayako (Rector), as he was known and called. As boys, we dared not humiliate, insult, or threaten them in any way; rather, we were to take them as our sisters by extension. This has taught me to respect and care for the opposite sex.

Moreover, my association, membership, and experience with some human rights organizations have enlightened me with rights, liberties, and freedom garnished by respect for individual differences, rights and privileges, consent, and action. With this knowledge put together, I consider marriage never a do-or-die affair but a privilege with consent to be a husband to a woman who also has rights/consent to be a wife and live in matrimony. Why then humiliation, abuses, and domestic violence?

I have observed in my experience as a married man that if you take away some women from their husbands, they will die, and vice versa. Despite the domestic violence and abuses inflicted on either party, he/she is willing and prefers to die in such gothic marriage situations because one among them has a deep spiritual attachment to the marriage. This is common in Christendom, where “till death do us part.” My question here is, what kind of death? Intentional, accidental, or natural? This created injunction clause does not hold water in life-threatening marriages.

Living in a shark-jaws marriage, I always blamed women who had seen the red flags but refused to leave such marriages and the house-husband (husband). I further came to understand that patience and the pretext that all is well have caused damage to both spouses in terms of emotional and traumatic agonies and some to their graves.

Therefore, spouses that are trapped in this valley of death with its quagmire should know that marriage is a thing of choice. Likewise, divorce is permissible as a panacea for both to be alive to breathe freely.

Balami, a publisher/columnist, 0803677929

In Marriage Nest, Spouses Are Dying Ignoring Red Flags and The Panacea (2)

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In Marriage Nest, Spouses Are Dying, Ignoring Red Flags, and The Panacea (1)

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In Marriage Nest, Spouses Are Dying, Ignoring Red Flags, and The Panacea (1)

By: Balami Lazarus

In the quite beautiful town of Zhimbutu, where men held sway, lording over their wives, some with brutality, few with love,

care and romance others in different ways. While some women are also lords over their husbands with impunity. Fear of getting married gripped young ladies seeing the ways their mothers were being treated and relegated to the background in the affairs of their homes as married women.

The home of Mr. and Mrs. Kwanchinkwalo Xhosa is full of regrets, anger, and bitterness, where Mrs. Xhosa has been treated as an object in the marriage partnership. The red spots were obviously fermented with bubbles ready for brewing.

Similarly, some good number of marriage homes are full of regrets where love, peace, and understanding

and harmony are strangers rejected and kept in a labyrinth of doom where one of the parties is placed in a perpetual tan of unhappiness surrounded by fear in the thickness of smoke, a forced resident.

Long before, now as a young man, a legitimate product of marriage. I took marriage as a mere secular social contract of partnership bounded in love and understanding where two have agreed to live together as husband and wife in matrimony.

However, I have never taken marriage to be a do-or-die affair, which has been the stock of some persons, even when and if the two—husband and wife—can no longer live together, having exhausted reasonable avenues to no avail. Here I am.

for outright divorce as a panacea for the final dissolution of the marriage.

To this day, I have been asking myself, why did I even get married in the first place? For sex, procreation, companionship, norms, tradition, or obligation? While marriage to a larger extent has deprived me and many others of some air of freedom and liberties to do or not to do at any space of time, I suppose. Moreover, the enterprise called marriage has taken away the ‘who’ in many men and

women and made them something else. It has further forcefully taken the lives of many spouses who ignored the red flags and fear of divorce. And besides, many have taken upon themselves to live or die in an unhappy/venomous venture of marriage that is infested with ‘dysentery’ and ‘cholera,’ where death is lurking because husbands or wives lack the guts, will , ability, and/or capacity to invoke the dead-end solution.

Let me now punctuate the work with some questions: Were you forced into it? Was it under duress? Was it at gunpoint? I believed the answers were all no. What will then prevent an individual from liquidating his unprofitable marital interest in such an intense business called marriage to be free from wahala that may likely result in crime?

In such a situation, I advocate for divorce as the only and final panacea, which has a comfortable place as a clause in my dictionary of marriage. Divorce is rarely used in some quarters, no matter what. While my wife and I have sincerely agreed in the course of our marriage journey that at any point in time, with or without any reason/cause, either party can quietly and peacefully walk out of the marriage to avoid who knows what?

In the history of failed marriages and crime findings, it has been shown that one of the parties is forcing his/herself on the other spouse because one of them has a profound and compounded emotional or spiritual attachment to the marriage. The case of the late Mrs. Osinachi Nwachukwu (2023), the gospel singer, was a classical example. Patience and excessive spiritual attachment led to her being killed by her husband, one Mr. Nwachukwu. The same is also applicable to men who fall victim in the hands of their wives. This situation has created two prime suspected killers living in a marriage cocoon.

Balami, a publisher/columnist. 08036779290

In Marriage Nest, Spouses Are Dying, Ignoring Red Flags, and The Panacea (1)

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