Columns
Birthday Celebrations: Ageless Plus One They Puke
Birthday Celebrations: Ageless Plus One They Puke
By: Balami Lazarus
As I write this piece, I was caught between the beautiful literary works of two great African poets and not knowing who to quote because they say the same thing poetically in different ways, going by their subject matter. As the writing progresses, I will definitely make reference to one of them to qualify this discourse.
The “Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead” I read recently has explicitly expressed our individual differences exhibited by man in lifestyles and even in death. The book written in spell said that even in death, individuals are different.
I hereby believe that some persons are battling with parents, relatives, friends, and acquaintances who are trying to impose their ways of life and styles on them, refusing to accept the fact that likes and dislikes make us different as humans. When I got to understand myself as an individual adult who has a mind of his own, making me positively different, that was the beginning of my journey to self-freedom as an individual.
As humans, we are physically the same, but we easily forget that you and I are entirely different. I have always tried to single myself out from the crowd to make a difference in terms of things that are personal and not against the law. With this in mind, I have developed a very strong, self-independent mindset, which has made me principled, and I don’t play to the gallery. That has also made me stand out like an inselberg mountain. However, for the purpose of family, collective responsibilities, and public interest, I must stoop with love and understanding for the sake of progress, growth, and development.
Therefore, my dislike for birthday celebrations makes me different from you or anyone out there. Moreover, it is of no value to me as I live. With this, I recalled when a young school pupil was asked at a children’s program, Would you like to be like Aliko Dangote ?
He answered and said, “No, we are different.” For me, that was a brilliant answer, for it entails so many things.
I have long disciplined and have control of my mind, body, and soul to outgrow so many things that are not necessary or important for me to either have , do, or use. This has helped me to brush aside and ignore so many things. Perhaps for the purpose of association or friendship, I might like or admire some things about the individual concerned, but the fact remains I will not and shall never be you nor do as you do because even in death—funeral/burial—we are different.
Most birthdays are celebrated empty of how old the celebrants are because they are ageless. What is the rationale behind this?. Does it make sense? . My father, of blessed memory, was good at record keeping. He taught us, as his children, to be mindful of important dates and years for future use and documentation. He further reminded us that “your birthday has been properly celebrated during your naming ceremony. Why another birthday celebratio”n?
I have seen where some people took birthday celebrations as if they were a personal achievement, and some even took offense when you did not identify with them by either phone calls , text messages, or other social media handles. Shamelessly, few among these individuals confront you with the anger of a black mamba showing all over them as if it were an obligation to celebrate with them on this self-meaningless and childish glee, which I see as generational encroachment because as a mature adult, you no longer need such celebration. This is my opinion.
I will not conclude this article without telling readers that I do attend ceremonies like Thanksgiving, graduations, award presentations, marriages, namings, and funerals, among other important events, but not birthday celebrations; that is always Plus (+) One, year in and year out. What is a burlesque? And this brings me to where I will have to quote one of the two African poets, Wole Soyinka and John Pepper Clark (Abikus). Suffice to say, Plus (+) One is like the Abiku in Wole Soyinka’s poem “I am Abiku calling for the first… repeated time , ageless though our puke.” This is the way of many birthday celebrants .
Finally, I smell the spoor of some readers saying in their minds that this writer is out of date , a bushman, socially bankrupt, and does not belong. I guess I am right . Well, in recollection, calmness, and stillness, I stand to say we are different.
Balami, a publisher/columnist 08036779290.
Birthday Celebrations: Ageless Plus One They Puke
Columns
Companies: Season of Dividends Declaration and Payments for Her Shareholders Worth Billions of Naira
Companies: Season of Dividends Declaration and Payments for Her Shareholders Worth Billions of Naira
By: Balami Lazarus
This piece made me recall my attempt to write the Chartered Institute of Stockbrokers (CIS) examinations years ago that I cannot remember now. I deliberately failed to continue with no reasons to give or shift blame as an escape route, which humans many do to console themselves of their failures. I (the writer) have learned never to do that.
However, no knowledge or experience is a waste for a wiseman. Hence, this work is derived from the knowledge gotten from the handouts and books I read on capital, equity, and/or stock market investments, where patience is the guiding principle as an investor taking into consideration this formula: Money > Units (Stocks) × Time + Patience = capital appreciations/dividends.
Many Nigerians are unaware of this equity/capital market. And if they do, they lack knowledge on what to do and how to invest in this market (kasuwan hanun jari).
It will shock you to know that there are so many share certificates in the hands of the citizens, amounting to thousands of units of shares worth billions of naira put together, laying fallow, not knowing what to do with them.
For I have seen many and assisted friends and relatives on what to do. Thanks for the digitalization of the market; it has made things much easier for investors and traders, including dividend payments currently taking place.
And surprisingly, there is over $190 billion in unclaimed dividends in the coffers of the federal government under the watch of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), which is the regulatory body.
This large amount of money came as a result of some shareholders not knowing how to claim their dividends. While others may be due to the attitudes of procrastination.
The Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE), now officially Nigerian Exchange Group Plc, which is run as a public liability company guided by the Companies and Allied Matters Act (CAMA), with its nomenclature as (NGX), also has her stocks traded on the exchange floor at Lagos.
I will not say much on the NGX. But be informed it is the trading floor of public companies’ stocks listed with the exchange where traders and investors can buy and sell their stocks or simply shares from Mondays to Fridays (5 times) in a week from 9am to 2pm daily.
Every year most companies hold their Annual General Meeting (AGM), informing their shareholders of the progress of their companies and whether or not to declare dividends to their shareholders depending on the strength of profits after tax (PAT) to those whose names appear on the list of the company registrars before the date of declaration.
The season of dividend declarations is most times done in April through June of each year. However, companies’ dividends vary in the sum of money paid to their shareholders depending on their units’ holdings in each company as part owners.
Dividends have added monetary value to shareholders and, by extension, improved the capacity of small- and medium-scale businesses in the economy because of the large amounts of money that have been paid into their various accounts either as individuals or as business enterprises.
Investors and capital market watchers are one group in society that is better informed on this segment of the Nigerian economy. And the investing group of citizens are making millions upon millions of naira from their investments in the market.
Take Guaranty Trust Company (GTCO) Plc, owners of Guaranty Trust Bank, as an example. Having declared a dividend of 11.67kobo per share for her shareholders. And assuming you, the reader, have a shareholding of only 1 million units. #11.67k x 1m = to #11,670,000 less 10% withholding tax (WHT), you will be credited with #10,503,000 your dividend as return on investment (RoI) on 28th April 2026 payment date.
What a profitable investment/dividend payment season.
Balami, Publisher/Columnist. 08036779290
Companies: Season of Dividends Declaration and Payments for Her Shareholders Worth Billions of Naira
Columns
Jos: Living in Conflicts and Crisis for a Quarter of a Century: Where Peace Became Paranormal Stranger (2)
Jos: Living in Conflicts and Crisis for a Quarter of a Century: Where Peace Became Paranormal Stranger (2)
By: Balami Lazarus
How do we find lasting solutions to the conflicts and crises in Jos? How do we go about the general insecurity facing the nation? While the utterances of some highly placed Nigerians like Godswill Akpabio, Nuhu Ribadu, Sheik Gumi, and others are fuelling this aged monster called
insecurity and its perpetrators that is burning us to the third degree.
I have radical lasting solutions to the conflicts and crises in Jos. And the general insecurity we allowed ourselves to be webbed in it.
The lingering civil unrest in Jos has fast-forwarded the insecurity in the city. It has also intensified killings, kidnapping, banditry, and terrorism in guerrilla-style attacks, as in the case of Ungwan Rukuba, 29th March, 2026.
Reportedly, there are lots of guns in the hands of many citizens of Plateau State unlicenced. In fact, Nigerians are now leveraging the provisions of the law for self-defense.
But how far and to what extent can we defend ourselves against these bandits or terrorists that are armed with sophisticated firearms? While in Jos, they (terrorists/bandits) are taking advantage of our disunity to launch mayhem on us living in the city.
The recent attacks by unknown gunmen in the city center (Ungwan Rukuba) show the extent of how we have failed in our unity. And that allegedly no arrest has been made. Rather innocent youths of the said area were arrested and are now treated as suspects of the gruesome killings.
Now let me begin to reel out my radical solutions on these issues that have eaten deep into our bone marrows.
Indeed, the need for well-equipped and armed standing state and local government police is a necessity for state security and protection of lives and property of the citizens that will in turn propel
and enhanced our national security, because this issue has engulfed the country.
The conflicts and crises in Jos have always been generated from within by some individuals or groups of persons who lack peaceful coexistence in their DNA.
The immediate thing to do is for each and every ward to organize, train, and arm their vigilante groups with assault rifles. An example of one such group is the Civilian Joint Task Force (CJTF) of Maiduguri in Borno state. This vigilante group is doing well in protecting the city. I commend them.
I hereby believe the application of the method aforementioned will bring back peace as a permanent resident in Jos but not as an itinerant. Because it is only in the Jos Plateau that peace is always travelling, and you hear us saying, “Peace has returned.”
The government and the people are now paying dearly for the consequences of the inactions and deliberate refusal of the recent past and present administrations—federal and state—to take decisive actions to bring an end to these compounded insecurities destroying the polity.
I am one individual who holds strong beliefs and believes in radical ways of finding solutions to problematic issues.
Using Plateau State as an example, where incessant killings are a permanent feature. Therefore, Nigerians should begin to agitate for the breakup of the country through peaceful means like a referendum or restructuring of our systems for a better Nigeria, on the one hand. It is now the right time for regions or groups to begin the process of secession as radical change for the good of the balkanization of the country, on the other.
Whereas if and when two can no longer live together in an agreed-upon and peaceful atmosphere, having exhausted reasonable avenues. What will be the next action?
And here we are. What are we going to do? Tell me sincerely and truthfully.
Balami, Publisher/Columnist 08036779290
Jos: Living in Conflicts and Crisis for a Quarter of a Century: Where Peace Became Paranormal Stranger (2)
Columns
Jos: Living in Conflicts and Crisis for a Quarter of a Century; Where Peace Became a Paranormal Stranger (1)
Jos: Living in Conflicts and Crisis for a Quarter of a Century; Where Peace Became a Paranormal Stranger (1)
By: Balami Lazarus
Imagine a child born in Jos 25 years ago is today an adult by all standards, probably married with a child. And certainly the young man has passed through tense moments, conflicts, and crises that came with hatred, destruction, and killings among the citizens of the state where the lives of the young and the old were not spared.
Looking back with nostalgia when my peers and I were young secondary students in Plato College Sharam, peace was a permanent resident, residing in quietness and recollection when Jos was a melting point of coexistence among the inhabitants in both public and social life. What happened to the question tag?
The Jos conflicts/crisis has suffocated the metropolitan environment over time and space, pollinated by suspicion of ethno-religious and extremist teachings of ideologies in cells carried out by some elements that have created hatred and fear among the people.
Of late, this crisis has turned into terrorist and bandit attacks, claiming more lives than before. And for some residents, including this writer, it is no longer strange nor an item of public discussion in the affairs of some citizens. Because it has been with the people as a paranormal mystery for a quarter of a century (25 years).
However, the loss of lives is the most disturbing central theme in this crisis and/or attacks. Political and economic progress are stagnated; businesses are backstage affairs conducted with fear in a helter-skelter fashion in exchange for goods and services.
The hatchlings of these bloody conflicts and crises have manifested in no-go areas with devastating effects on the intra-micro commercial/corporate business transactions. Rebellion subjects, enemies of peace, have long polarized the city of Jos into ethno-religious and political divides.
The year 2001 was the beginning of Jos’s crisis that has become cyclical these several seasons within the Jos and Bukuru metropolises.
The attitudes of the affected and concerned citizens have illuminated the depths of their feelings, revealing a kaleidoscope of doubts as Nigerians. The Ungwan Rukuba killing spree and the decades of unrest in Jos have raised motions for the identity and reconstruction of the Nigerian state.
To be continued.
Balami, Publisher/Columnist. 08036779290
Jos: Living in Conflicts and Crisis for a Quarter of a Century; Where Peace Became a Paranormal Stranger (1)
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